In a large sauce pan, heat the olive oil and add the onions, carrots, and celery. At every step, salt and pepper the ingredients to properly season them. Sauté for five minutes then add the pancetta (pancetta is naturally salty so no need to season). Cook on medium high for about 7 to 10 minutes then add the meat. Brown the meat, and season, over medium high heat breaking up large pieces with a wooden spoon. Add the red pepper flakes and the parsley and cook for one minute. Turn the heat to high and add the wine. Cook until the alcohol is evaporated, leaving the sweetness of the wine, scraping up the brown bits on the bottom of the pan.

In a blender pulse the tomatoes until smooth adding 2 tablespoons of sugar. Pour the tomato sauce over the meat season, with salt and pepper. Lower the flame to medium and cook for about 2 1/2 hours. If desired, finish the sauce by adding the whole milk. Stir well and set aside.

Make the Besciamella sauce by melting 1/2 cup of butter in a pan over medium heat. Sprinkle on the flour. Slowly toast the flour without burning it by stirring with a wooden spoon and incorporating the butter to the flour. Gradually add the milk (preferably at room temp or warm) into the pot and stir until a thick sauce is formed. Simmer for about 15 minutes. S continue to incorporate the milk, reduce the heat, and simmer for about 15 minutes. Season the sauce with nutmeg, salt and pepper.

Assemble the lasagna as follows. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Butter or spray the lasagna pan well. Add a thin layer of meat sauce. Add the first layer of lasagna noodles overlapping them slightly. Then repeat with meat sauce first, besciamella sauce, second, and a sprinkling of mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses. Repeat the same process until you reach the top of the dish. And make sure the lasagna noodles are all soaking into the sauce. When done layering the ingredients, top the lasagna with a final ladle of meat sauce, and some besciamella. Add a few thin slices of butter and finish with some grated Parmesan.

Bake the lasagna in the oven for about 30 minutes. It is recommended to put a pan underneath the lasagna pan to catch any drips. After 30 minutes, check your lasagna and if needed turn on broil for five minutes to brown the top.

Serve this dish with extra-virgin olive oil, and some grated Parmesan to taste. Allow the lasagna to cool slightly and set before slicing.